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Sexplorations with AJ: The Rise of Cybersex

Hello everyone! I hope you all enjoyed that extra leap day at the end of February, I've never understood leap year logic but I do appreciate the extra time. 

This month, we'll be discussing the ever changing and expanding world of cybersex and its uses in helping maintain intimacy in long distance relationships. 

Whenever I heard the phrase ‘cybersex’ in the past, the image in my head was always of a scantily clad Cyberman from Doctor Who trying to say something sexy in that disonant droning voice.


But that, of course, is not what cybersex is. 

Cybersex is defined as any sexual encounter that occurs virtually and with the use of internet technology. So a webcam session with a partner or sexworker, using a Bluetooth connected sex toy, and even plain old sexting all fall under the ‘cybersex’ umbrella.


A definite plus of cybersex is the utter lack of transmitted sexual infections or diseases as there is no physical sexual contact with another partner. This lack of risk can make sex more exciting and care free, resulting in an increase in sexual freedom and exploration. By discovering fantasies, sexual kinks, and interests, the intimacy and bond between both partners can strengthen and be upheld despite factors such as distance and lack of physical contact.


Other methods of cybersex could include erotic apps such as Quinn or Dipsea which cater to those interested in both audio and literary erotica. 

By having a partner choose a particular story to listen to or read, this can build anticipation for the next time a couple are intimate physically. Fantasy and roleplay materials are abundant in both apps, and fantasy naturally goes hand in hand when it comes to sex.


Sex and intimacy are key to any relationship and the most modern technology and sex-fronted advancements are common place online. The worry of a relationship crumbling under the pressure of a lack of sexuality is, quite simply, a thing of the past. 

Between work and uni, young people are now free to sext, role-play, and strip on FaceTime to their hearts content. 

Even outside of long distance relationships, cybersex is used to build sexual tension and excitement during the hustle and bustle of everyday life. A cheeky underwear pic can shatter the routine of the work week and make any following physical contact absolutely explosive.


So next time you listen to Doja Cat's smash hit, ‘Cyber Sex’, maybe think about incorporating it into your own relationship. 

As the Spice Girls said, “Spice Up Your Life.” That's the last of the music references now, don't worry.


Thank you for reading this months edition of Sexplorations. Join me again next month for our first edition on an trans identities and catch up on last month where I shared my experience of vaginismus. Have a great month guys!

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