by Libby Pierzak-Pee
The horrific abuse and violence suffered by Gisèle Pélicot has shaken France and the rest of the world to its core. Since the trial began earlier this month, 72 year old Gisèle (she has since changed her surname but is using Pélicot at trial) has become a symbol of courage and resilience for women everywhere.
Gisèle has been at the centre of a trial in which 51 men are accused of raping her, including her former husband of 50 years, Dominique Pélicot. Dominique, 71, has admitted to raping and drugging Gisèle without her knowledge, and recruiting dozens of strangers to rape her while she was unconscious. It was only when Pélicot was caught upskirting several women in a shopping centre and his computer was searched by police that evidence of the abuse came to light.
Gisèle waived her right to anonymity and requested that the trial be made public to raise awareness of chemical submission and sexual abuse, and to also show survivors that they shouldn’t be ashamed of the abuse they have suffered. She said of her case, “I speak for all women who are drugged and don’t know about it, I do it on behalf of all women who will perhaps never know”. According to her lawyers, Gisèle’s decision to release her identity was to also ensure that shame does not fall on the side of the victim but on the side of the accused.
The Pélicot case has elicited a different reaction from men and women. I like many women share a sense of anger over this case and the subsequent reporting of it. Yet when I’ve spoken to the men in my life about the case, I’ve been met with ignorance, indifference and silence. This angered me even more. I couldn’t understand why more men weren’t outraged. Why weren’t they talking about it? Why didn’t they care?
In a recent Instagram post talking about men’s silence when it comes to discussing male violence against women and girls, Jameela Jamil wrote, “when men hurt women in heinous ways, it is almost exclusively women that post and talk about it. Men largely overlook it. Even the men I personally know. Even progressive men. How does the conversation shift if the group responsible for the violence always looks the other way? When has that ever led to change? You don’t have to be personally responsible for an act of violence to call it out as wrong”.
As a society, we have become so desensitised to male violence against women and girls through mediums such as porn, tv, film and social media, that men don’t realise how this impacts their attitudes towards women.
A new BBC Panorama documentary suggests that men and boys are being pushed misogynistic and violent content on both Instagram and TikTok without deliberately searching for, or engaging with it. This type of content regularly supports male violence, male domination and teaches men and boys that unchecked violence is acceptable, with the raping and abusing of women and girls perfectly harmless.
Algorithmic bias greatly impacts what men and women are seeing online. Social media algorithms determine what content appears in your feed by analysing your behaviour and interactions on a platform. This information helps the algorithm rank content based on its likelihood to engage you.With an alarming number of men and boys engaging with content created by the likes of Andrew Tate, it is sadly not surprising that there has been a rapid increase in male violence against women.
The acts of abuse committed by Dominique Pélicot and over fifty men should act as a wake up call to society that male violence can live anywhere and be committed by anyone. The fifty other men on trial range in age from 26 to 74 and all appeared to lead normal lives and hold everyday jobs. Many of the defendants are husbands and fathers, and have no prior criminal charges.
Céline Piques, of feminist organisation Osez le Féminisme, hopes the fact that the accused come from ordinary backgrounds and a variety of professions will dispel societal myths about what constitutes a rapist. “It demolishes the myth of the rapist who is a psychopath…they raped because they were sure of their impunity”. We can no longer use the excuse that “monsters walk among us” when unfortunately, many of these “monsters” are everyday men.
The Pélicot case has shone a light on the never-ending list of excuses men will use to attempt to justify why they commit violence, rape and abuse against women. French legislation on rape is the most repressive in Europe. In France, a rapist is liable for up to fifteen years imprisonment. For marital rape as aggravated rape it is up to 20 years. Article 222-23 of the French penal code defines rape as “any act of sexual penetration, of whatever nature, committed on the person of another by violence, constraint, threat or surprise”.
In court Dominique Pélicot admitted to raping, drugging and facilitating the rape of Gisèle by more than fifty men because he was bored. He said that he filmed the rapes to avoid being blackmailed by the other men who participated. He also talked about how he lacked self-control and “just couldn’t stop”, that his actions were connected to abuse he suffered as a child, and he was suffering with his mental health. The court heard how expert psychiatric reports had found Pélicot to be a manipulator with low empathy and low ability for introspection and taking responsibility.
Some of the defendants have purported that they had no idea Gisèle had been drugged; others believed she was simply pretending to be asleep and that they were helping a couple live out their fantasies. Upon hearing this Gisèle told the court, “they knew exactly what they were doing and what shape I was in”. She emphasised that she did not have any knowledge of these assaults, and did not feign unconsciousness as some of the defendants are suggesting.
None of the excuses provided by Pélicot and the other defendants excuse abuse. Millions of people suffer with their mental health, have experienced abuse themselves or have childhood trauma but interestingly not all of those people choose to go on to become abusers. Because abuse is a choice.To repeatedly abuse someone is a choice. To recruit random strangers to rape and abuse your drugged and unconscious wife for over a decade is a CHOICE. To abuse someone is never a rash decision. It is a carefully considered and active choice that is decided upon over and over and over again.
The use of language used within the courtroom exposes how certain phrases diminish the significance of the crime being committed. When in court Gisèle was reminded by the judge that in order to respect the presumption of innocence, she must not use the word rape but instead use the term “sex scene”. She replied, “I just think they should recognise the facts. When I think of what they have done I am overcome with disgust. They should at least have the responsibility to recognise what they did”.
Furthermore, the media need to be held accountable for their choice of words when reporting on cases like this. A number of headlines described Gisèle as “taking public revenge on men”. The use of the word revenge encourages victim-blaming and distracts people from understanding or comprehending the violence and abuse committed. It also highlights how deeply embedded societal stigma surrounding rape remains, as attitudes such as this encourage victims to remain silent out of shame and fear. Gisèle’s case is not, and never has been about revenge. It is courage. It is bravery. It is justice.
Men’s absence from the conversation about the Pélicot trialhighlights an entitlement over women that is deeply embedded within society. Acts of violence and abuse against women and girls have become so normalised because male violence is always excused, often by other men. The patriarchy gives men permission to openly abuse and rape women, and is facilitated by others turning a blind eye.
Not one man involved in the Pélicot case spoke out about what was happening or tried to stop it from happening. None of them called the police. Even if some men didn’t participate, none of them appeared to ask any questions regarding the fact that this abuse was being carried out on a drugged and unconscious woman.
Men can no longer remain passive about male violence against women and girls. If you’re sick of men being tarnished with the same brush because of the daily coverage of the horrific ways in which many men choose to abuse, control and dominate women, why are you not doing anything about it? We are constantly told it’s “not all men”, but what exactly are “good men” doing to shift the conversation?
Men need to do more than simply not hurt women. Congratulations, you chose not to rape, abuse, attack, or murder a woman today. Here’s your Blue Peter Badge for doing the absolute bare minimum.
The only way for men to recognise male violence against women and girls as the global epidemic it is, is to start treating it as such. Men need to join the conversation and start calling out those men whose actions threaten, harm, and degrade women. Dismantling patriarchal attitudes and cultures of male domination, power, control and entitlement is work that men and women must do together.
As feminist writer bell hooks discussed in her book The Will To Change, “as long as men are brainwashed to equate violent domination and abuse of women with privilege, they will have no understanding of the damage done to themselves or to others, and no motivation to change”.
All women, like Gisèle Pélicot deserve the right to share their stories. They deserve the right to be listened to and believed. They deserve justice. Women are angry and will remain angry about the influx of stories about the horrific violence and abuse committed against us.
Men, stop turning away from your discomfort of women’s reality and join us.